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  <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:philosophuck</id>
  <title>The Habit Role</title>
  <subtitle>Drink Me.</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>philosophuck</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2008-01-30T11:10:26Z</updated>
  <lj:journal userid="14546989" username="philosophuck" type="personal"/>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:philosophuck:1360</id>
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    <title>Dream</title>
    <published>2008-01-30T11:10:26Z</published>
    <updated>2008-01-30T11:10:26Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:51:47&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;it started out with me in a warehouse holding a knife surrounded by three bodies&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:52:02&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;it was given that i had murdered them, that it was intentional, and they were ucsc students&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:52:36&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;dana was pacing in the background looking really distraught, and i was trying to figure out how we'd dispose of the bodies&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:53:04&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;at that point, my dad walks in holding a giant bag and at that point i realized that the warehouse was storage for manacins&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:53:43&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;*manequins&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:54:17&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;he stuffs three manequins into the back, the three bodies on top of them, more manequins on top of that, ties the bag up, carries it outside and throws it into the garbage disposal&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:55:02&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;he makes a call and a few minutes later a black garbage truck pulls up, a skeezy mexican guy walks out grabs the bag and throws it into his truck and drives off&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:55:45&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;after that we get into a van, but it was quirky. three people had to drive it, one was in charge of the gas and barkes, one steered but had to be blindfolded, while i directed&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:56:12&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;we got back to campus and got back. the next "scene" was me sitting on an open window sill smoking when alex walks and and tells me the police are here to question "us"&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:56:34&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;i get out and there is a group of kids sitting outside in a circle, a cop sitting on a bench with a notepad in his hand&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:57:25&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;in my dream i remember thinking that i had always presumed i would pass with flying colors in a situation like that, but had realized at that moment that i was much too naive, inexperienced and moral to be in the situation i was&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:57:44&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;so i looked over to alex and said, "what am i supposed to say?" and she said, "just tell the truth, you have nothing to hide."&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:58:46&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;so the cop asked a girl to his left where she was on so and so day, and she said "i was studying, it's not like i killed anybody," and the cop said, "i didn't say anything about murder." at that point i thought, if she, who is completely innocent, is being scrutinized, what am i going to do, who is actually guilty&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:59:31&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;when the cop gets to me, i realize what would algorithmically make sense to say, just the proper choice and placement of words, but i knew that the tone of my voice wouldn't be believeable, so i take out my cellphone and text my answers to the cop&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2:59:44&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;he says, "this is a completely reasonable response, but something is very fishy."&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:00:42&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;the next scene was dana and me in a post office, he was telling me how he couldn't handle the pressure anymore, how he couldn't believe he had done this, and he said he was willing to fess up to the crime and take the all the blame, but i told him to hold out because we were getting so close&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:01:40&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;one of my friends walked in at that point and said, "naveed, the cops are here, they definitely want to talk to you, and they want to talk to dana as well." i asked her why they "definitely" wanted to talk to me and she said everybody knew i wasn't acting normally&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:02:35&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;so we went back and talked to the cop, and i don't recall exactly what we said, but it ended with the cop saying this: "i can't find a reason to prosecute you two, but if you were involved in the events leading up to the disappearance of those three men, i hope the burden on your soul carries you down to the depths of hell."&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:02:53&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;after that he puts us in the back of his cop car and tells us he has one last place to take us&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:03:37&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;he takes us on a long, windy road to a given location, i got out of the car and realized that it was a giant dump with bleachers built around the rim of a portion of it&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:04:42&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;we went and sat down and i saw an armada of convicts digging through the trash with their bare hands, i mean possibly a thousand convicts in blue jump suits essentially on their knees just digging through the trash andd in the background giant crains disheveling the trash so the trash on the bottom comes to the top, all in search for the "three sad souls," as the cop told dme while we were sitting&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:06:19&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;it ended with a shot of a monitor, it was a facebook group that was a memorial for the three kids, as well as a forum to keep people updated and for people to pose RIPs, and possibly information about their whereabouts, and the "camera" panned down, past their pictures, past the excavation site that the search was taking place in, to a picture of the people who had joined the group, and it just stopped on my face&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: transparent;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(215, 51, 6);"&gt;&lt;b&gt;MeGustaTheGuitar&lt;/b&gt;&lt;aim:timestamp style="display: inline; font-size: 11px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;(3:06:22&amp;nbsp;AM)&lt;/aim:timestamp&gt;:&lt;/span&gt; &lt;font size="2" face="Arial" color="#000000"&gt;and the dream ended&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:philosophuck:1074</id>
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    <title>Two Dreams</title>
    <published>2008-01-11T10:14:22Z</published>
    <updated>2008-01-11T10:14:22Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Last night's dream:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I was part of the last group of humans on Earth and we were backpacking through the wilderness in search of a spot to build and campfire and watch the final sunrise before we died of malnutrition. A girl asked me to follow her into the forest to procreate and restore the population, but I walked towards the campfire. In her anger she blew a conk shell and from the forests surrounding us an opposing force started walking in our direction. We defensively circled the bonfire and transfigured into tombstones with our names engraved in them. The dream faded.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Today's dream:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I was at an End of the World Party and had accidentally drank over my limit of alcohol because of a tasteless, water-like liquor that was being served. I passed out in a chair and woke up with one of the Iranian men from back home passed out on top of me. I pushed him off and borrowed Ashkahn's truck. As I drove, I realized that after seventy-five miles per hour I was tampering with the speed of Earth's rotation and manipulated nature to bring about noon. I reached a traffic jam that led into a tunnel. My right tire blew out and I pulled to the side. A construction worker sarcastically told me "what a great spot I had chose to stop," and I called my father in fear that something would happen to the car. When he came the top half of the truck had been ripped off and the base was being wheeled into a garbage truck. I drove home and my friend Natasha was sitting in the bed of a truck with two other girls. One of them made a snide comment about a past relationship. A close-up of Natasha's profile showed a mutation of her lips to a duckbill-esque protuberance. Two large animated tear drops formed, one under each eye and a kaleidescope hued wind wiped them off her face drenching me. The truck of the bed shrunk and the truck became a dais. She arose and started preaching gibberish. Neil and Dr. Dan ran out of my house. Neil told me everything would be fine, he could "communicate with anybody." He stared at Natasha and she screamed gibberish, literally garbled consonants and vowels, at him. (Tongues?) He immediately lunged into an embrace with Dr. Dan and the two of them turned into a swirling tornado of strokes of blue colored pencil and the ground around them started becoming animated. The tip of my foot became part of them and I pulled back and ran towards my house. A powerful earthquake came and knocked the sides of my house down and crumbled half the structure. I went around to check for survivors. Ashkahn came out in his underwear wearing a birthday hat (the cone shaped ones) as a nose. He told me he'd "always wanted to do this after an earthquake." I walked inside my house. The dream faded.</content>
  </entry>
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